An afternoon, not too long ago…. I was meditating, hoping to relax my brain enough so that, perhaps I could fall asleep. Right as I was beginning to cross the threshold of consciousness into perhaps of restful slumber something flew into my bus. I heard the buzz of wigs and NutMeg beginning to get riled up.

I went to the front windshield where I encountered a beautiful hummingbird trying desperately to get out only to find itself trapped. I moved some books out of the way that were disabling the hummingbirds full range of motion. Upon moving the books, the wings fluttered, and again, this little bird kept bumping against the glass. I tried to encourage it with words. “All you have to do is fly through this  open window less than eight inches away, it’s right here!”

It stopped moving seemingly calmed by my presence. We locked eyes. There I saw this bird, a symbol of joy and happiness, afraid— stuck. I watched it’s breathing, it’s heart beat, which is generally quite fast, begin to slow. This little bird and I gazed into each others eyes. Soon, it started fluttering again hitting the window, repeatedly unable to break through to get to where it was meant to be. It kept trying to go one way, over and over again without any success.

I had the idea to block it’s vision of the glass. I grabbed a piece of paper and slid it over the windshield where the hummingbird was trying to fly. Immediately, it turned and flew out the open window eight inches away.

How often we are that little bird— we see so clearly what we want, but we are blindsided by how to get there. We try the same thing over and over again, with little to no success. But, if when we find a way to free ourselves from how it should go, into how it’s going, we actually open ourselves to finding the way of getting there.

An afternoon, not too long ago, I saw a hummingbird, the essence of joy, admit that it was afraid. And I too, must stop sometimes and acknowledge the fear I feel.