It’s all pretty weird…

I’ve had a few requests/inquires about my email blog / news letter thing lately. So here I am again. I know ya’ll appreciate these updates, many for the love of me, others for the enjoying these updates as if it. Whatever you need, I’m here … sometimes it’s just hard for me to be here cause I have this inner dialogue of my inner most critic saying things like, “nobody cares what you have to say.” or “wow it’s not even that funny.” We all seem to have a voice inside of us that we tolerate, however we wouldn’t tolerate that from anyone outside of ourselves. It makes no sense, humans are confusing. Life is weird.

Speaking of life being weird… What?! The?! What?! I mean… come on!
I won’t get into much of that cause I don’t even know anymore.

Recently, I had a birthday (8/8). Last year was the big thirty, which means this year I turned 29!

I’ve been out on the road for the last month or so, it’s been extraordinarily liberating and soul regenerating. 

As many of you know, I have been living in Hollywood for the last year and a half. I fulfilled a life long dream, and was feeling the momentum of a trajectory that only brought me closer to living in the reality of more of my life long dreams. 

The thing about living in LA though is it’s fairly all consuming. It’s hard to get out of town or to get out of the field of feeling like everything is a hustle all the time. Mostly because it is. I was living in a charming little studio apartment about twice the size of my bus. And it was costing me about $1500 a month. I did it, I landed some sweet teaching jobs, started doing background work, and did all sorts of fun gigs throughout the last year.

I was able to continue producing comedy shows up on the mountain, which helped strengthen my relationships in the city and continued my connection in an awesome little community.

I also did a crazy thing in December, and produced this elf immersion and children’s book (… It was a lot of work, drained a great deal of life out of me — but I learned sooooo much. All the foundations were set in place to rinse and repeat for this year. However, with times the way they are … doing “underground children’s theatre” seems like it might be even more of a challenge. The thought of doing any theatre is weird right now. And that’s weird. It’s all just very weird. 

Something even weirder though… Is getting older. I stopped at this hot springs in Montana. There I made a friend with an early twenties fella… We had great conversations, but I was so filled with an awkward awareness of to quote Blink 182 “What’s my age again?”

Is there an age where my floating will no longer be fullfilling? Is asking this question the first step to a transition into a more… stable situation?

I don’t know.

I do know that part of the problem with stability is loosing the ability to remember that anything is possible at any time. I think so much of what weighs on people as they get older is how often dreams don’t pan out the way they were visualized. And that can really ware people down after a while. I certainly began to feel that when I was in LA. But, maybe what’s actually waring on ourselves is our inability to see ourselves for what our soul’s are really guiding us to— which I would say would be the core resonance of what that thing is.

For example: My AOL screen name in high school was BorntoBeOnSNL. I believed that my comic character stylings were perfect for that show. But as I’ve gotten older, I have come to realize that I’m not political or topical enough to thrive there… And after taking classes at Groundlings, I have found that the characters I create are intended more from a place of love, than hate (which so often comedy is about taring down and not building up)

Anyway! Through these discoveries into heart centered comedy, I have been doing more comedy. And I’m often compared to a show that’s not longer on air, but totally makes sense. I’ve been able to work with comedians who absolutely are connected to this mission. Right before corona chaos really ensued, I did a Murder Mystery Show with other players that was so incredibly fulfilling. It was so satisfying that I haven’t felt too burdened by not performing for six months (which might be the longest time I’ve ever gone without doing a live performance in all my life). 

I guess the moral of all of this… is we’re good. Change is inevitable, and ultimately it only gets better. No matter what’s going on in the world, we’re always moving towards the manifestations of our dreams unfolding, and actively living the reality of them coming into being.

I taught camp from at least five different states last month. And having the freedom to do that was vital of the nourishment of my inspired forces within. I encourage that what ever that is for you, that you find it, and you live it and you ENJOY this time of an easier pace— we were moving too fast before.

A dear friend of mine said, “It’s like we were coming out a quarantine, and being given the freedom to spend time in our homes with our family or out in nature.”

And I loved that reverse perspective. How can you reverse your perspective today? 

A daily inversion practice is key! Go upside down literally or figuratively on your head.

It’s all pretty weird…

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